Omg, I feel like Iím living on ďThe Real World.Ē >_<. Except there arenít loud conversations about how one person would like the other better if they did their own laundry or cleaned the house or kept their clothes on . . . or camera people following me around and taping my in house phone conversations. So much drama . . . >_<.
I hold no oneís fate in my hands but my own. Being made to feel like Iím responsible for anymore than that is not only overwhelming but also terribly sad to me.
Anyhow, Iím going to go see the Lion King in two weeks. Granted itíll be with a bunch of young children . . . and itís not in my top five musical choices to go see . . . but itís a free ticket. And I hear itís a very nice production. So Iím going to go have fun. And Iíll get to see the kidís faces when they see their first musical. ^.^. I love children, they take so much drama out of life sometimes.
::sigh:: Iím off to see if I can beat that damn Hi-Ho Tank in Chrono Cross now . . . How the hell do you beat it? Iíve fought it at least five times now. ;_;. I keep meaning to go online and find out but I never remember. (I do all my blogs offline most of the time). Hopefully I remember when Iím online next.
Phantom is: Thoughtful}
Omg, stop with the dramatics already! I can't take it anymore! >_<!
Anyways . . . today I went through all these old letters and stuff and reading nice things that people (who now aren't in my life) said to me a long time ago and even what I said to them at that time. It kind of hurt and kind of made me angry. I wanted to say mean things to them now and lash out now because I was angry. But I can't live in the past. And it isn't right to say mean things to them. So, I put all the letters away again and went on about my day.
I've been thinking about different things lately though. I've lost interest almost all together in some activities and have renewed interest in others. It makes me wonder where I'm headed, where my real talents are, etc. Honestly, I'm not too terribly thrilled with some aspects of my life . . . others aren't that bad . . . I don't know, it all makes my head hurt. I want to do spring cleaning in my life. Make it start resembling the life I want to be happy having. The ideal dream I've always had for myself.
Anywho, enough with the serious stuff. Total hilarity and chaos Thursday. LOL, it was too funny. Everything was supposed to be all somber and it was all hilarity (in the beginning that is). We are so organized . . . ::rolls eyes::
Person 1: We
have no bread for Tenebrae.
Singing the solo went better. Imagine that. Through my sore throat and all. My choir director/teacher said, "That's the best I've ever heard you sing." o.O! It kinda made me a bit sad. Why can't I do that when my throat isn't hurting?!? -_-;. I was semi-pleased with the way it went today. I didn't want to cry about it afterward (except I did during the candle extinguishing -- but that was really sad!). I think this experience has made me less nervous about singing in front of people.
And just imagine, if people think my untrained voice is "beautiful" and "simply wonderful" what're they going to think once I start voice lessons? I just hope I'm able to develop my voice. That's all I'd really like. And if people like it too, even better.
Well, Happy Easter to those of you who believe that; Happy Passover to others of you, and Happy Day to the rest of you.
Phantom is: Tiredness}
Cantada, mezzo forte
Wow, yeah . . . sorry about such a long delay in updates. @_@. I've been so busy and so tired afterward that I just didn't write.
Monday I was volunteering and I wasn't supposed to work, but the aide left and I didn't really have a choice. Ah well . . . it's money, I suppose. Tuesday I babysat my second cousin. He's cute. And I was lucky 'cause he took a big ol' two hour nap in the middle of the day. Yesterday I did some laundry and slept in . . . then I went to choir practice where we spent half the time telling jokes with Mr. Svendson (who's last day is on Sunday).
LOL @ our conversation.
Him: "See you
;_;. I was hoping they'd all forget. Oh well. I'll be happy if it goes better than it did on the 17th. And if it actually sounds good through this semi-sore throat of mine. ;_;! I'm nervous again! But not as nervous as last time.
Hmm . . . I think I start voice lessons next week. I'm kinda glad because I've never really had any vocal training before. It'll be nice to learn how to control my voice the way I want. And hopefully my teacher doesn't have a problem with "Phantom of the Opera" 'cause that's all my vocal music folder really is. ^.^;.
I'm off to get ready to go to work. We're having a big ol' pot luck. They're bringing in yummy Mexican food. *_*. I love it when they bring it in, 'cause it tastes authentic. So good . . .
Keep your fingers crossed for me tonight!
Phantom is: Excited
Saying goodbye to people is hella hard. ;_;. Especially when you're in the choir and you have to sing things for said people without crying the entire time. You just get to cry and hug them afterward. ;_;.
During the time when my whole life was falling apart, I really didn't have anything to hold onto. But when I was at that bottom point, Mr. Svendson was there welcoming me and giving me guidance. He taught me things I'd never known about before. I learned I shouldn't be scared but be thankful. I learned that I have wonderful people in my life that will help me forever and ever. I learned that I could be apart of a wonderful family that I found not only in the chourses but with the people who come to watch us every week. I learned to laugh at a time where I was only crying. I learned that faith wasn't a bad thing. I learned that there are so many little children looking up to me (and even calling me auntie). I learned how to live my life the way I really had always wanted to live it. I learned how to get back in touch with myself and finally be at peace. All thanks to him.
I'll miss him always smiling and taking time out of his schedule to come say hi to me. I'll miss hearing "I'll see you next (insert day when choir would be there)!" I'll miss hearing the line about "keeping her eyes on the sparrow." And yes, I'll miss his jokes, even if some of them were kinda bad. They always made you laugh.
I know he's got to move on, but there are an awful lot of people that are going to miss him. I wish him and his family nothing but the best! Hymn #543 will always be yours (even if we can't remember the number and think it's #343 instead ^.^;).
Other than that, there's not really anything going on. Trying to clean up around the house but I'm really exhausted so nothing's really getting done save for half the laundry and the dishes. ;_;.
Tomorrow's the movies with the preschoolers. I think my boys might even come too, it's before their school starts, after all. I wonder if they can count using the number 15 yet. ::sigh:: Why is 15 the hardest number to remember when you're that young?
I'm exhausted. And since I have to get up early tomorrow, I should get to bed. ;_;. I should've gone to bed during "Independence Day" but for some reason I just couldn't stop watching. I like that movie, what can I say? And then I just had to blog. ^.^;. But I'm going now. So, oyasuminasai.
Phantom is: Tired}
I used to know someone who had a birthday today. Who knows what the hell she's doing now. ::shrugs:: Oh well. Here's to being best friends with someone and having them stab you in the back. :: raises an imaginary glass::
I'm so tired. Literally and non-literally. I want to go to sleep . . . but I'm also tired of . . . well, of crap. Everything's horrible right now. And it isn't even a full moon or anything! People are just unbelieveable right now. And it's taking every last ounce of will power and resolve and discipline I have to keep myself from saying anything I'd regret later on. Grr, there's so much I'd say if I could. But I'm not like that.
It's taking up all my energy. I guess that's what happens when you try to live like a "nice person" with morals and firm beliefs.
My goodness, I need a vacation. Either that or a Tropical Limbo Slip 'n Slide, right Jupi?
If I didn't believe in the golden rule it'd be a "bad lookout for many of the human race!" (I love quoting the "Phantom of the Opera" novel.)
Tomorrow's a busy day. There probably won't even be a meeting in it either. Then Monday it's off to the movies and work with the preschoolers, Tuesday I might babysit my second cousin, Wednesday I'm probably teaching and then choir practice, Thursday there's a