Afterward, we still had a little time before she had to go to work so we ended up going to the local thrift store and finding some things for one of my costumes. I was in total cosplay happiness! I've missed cosplaying a lot!

I got a big shirt I can cut up and use . . . and I got a skirt. I can't say what colors because, it's for one of my top secret costumes that no one knows about. Not even my buddies at Envision know what I'm working on. ^.^v! Hee hee hee . . .

So when I got home, I worked on adding the details to the skirt. I'm happy to say that the skirt is done now. Thank goodness, my fingers are sore from all the work I did to it! ::sighs:: I have a few more things to get for my costume but I'm well on my way to being finished quite soon.

I figured, I might as well start costuming now. The sooner I'm done, the more fun I'll have. 'cause once I'm done I can do other costumes I have to do and take piccies of 'em and bask in the realization that I'm done.

While I was at the thrift store I also found two Korean mangas. They're called "Victory Viki" or something. I dunno what they're about because I can't read Korean! ;_;! But they're interesting to look at.

::smile:: I keep looking behind me and seeing my skirt. I'm really proud of it. I hope that all my work'll pay off when I show it off at AX 2002! I'm looking forward to it!

The evil genius has spoken.

Happy New Year-ness minna!!!

By the way, never posted (I don't think) the blog below so . . . you have twice as much to read today. Aren't you lucky?

I've made a decision and I really wish I could share with you what it is. Only, I can't because I don't want it to leak out before I have a chance to tell the people involved in person. I want it to come from me, not from anyone else. Hence, I can't say anything. Don't worry, it has nothing to do with any of you readers, I promise you. And no, it doesn't have anything to do with Envision either, so relax you guys.

Anyhow, I'm all hella mad right now. I'm really fed up with some things. Dammit, when people say they're going to do something and keep telling me they will, I expect them to do it, dammit! But no . . . they just breaking their promises, over and over again. ::sighs:: Like I haven't heard this song before . . . ::sigh::

I hate it when people break their promises to me!!! ::punches a whole in a nearby wall:: Especially people I'm supposedly supposed to look up to and have respect for!

And I'm getting screwed finacially too. Which I'm really supremely pissed about. And it's not even my fault! It started when I was asking some important questions and then I just ended up getting the run around. It caused me to think more and more until I realized that I was getting finacially screwed.

I'm so hella mad . . .

And yes, I promise I'll explain more when everything's settled.

My otousan was so nice though. He said that if things worked out to where I really was finanically screwed and I had to pay a bunch, he'd help me out. I feel kinda bad 'cause I don't wanna be asking for money or having to rely on him or anything . . . but it's really nice that he's willing to help me. And he wasn't mad or anything and didn't blame me for getting stuck in this situation. He's really nice about it. Actually, he's kinda proud about my decision. Which, I'm happy about.

Anyhow, in other news, I got my manga magazine today. Ack! Peach Girl has too many cliffhangers! What's going to happen now?!? I have to wait another month! Is she really going to reject Toji like that? Is she thinking about getting with Kiley? And MARS is that cliffhangery too . . . But I swear, Kira's personality changes too much for me. She's too wishy-washy. And Planet Ladder is o.O? as always. But for the new manga, Paradise Kiss . . . I'm not sure what to think about it . . . it's . . . odd . . . o.O?

Go visit and join my message board! I wanna hear from you!

Well minna-sama, I should go. I've got a headache . . . and I'm gonna go finish typing an old story for Ass-Kickin' Jupi.

The evil genius has spoken.

Yesterday went out with my family and ate yummy Japanese food. Then we walked around a nearby mall for a while. It was nice to spend some time with them 'cause I'm always so busy lately!

Bought some things yesterday at the mall. ^.^! Rush Hour 2 which is still hella funny. ^.^! Two memory cards for my PS One (now I can play games that need to be saved!) . . . and I bought Chrono Cross. It was like $20. I couldn't believe it! I've wanted to play that game forever but it's been too expensive and I didn't have a PS One. But now I can play it! It's a really wonderful game! I love it! But those guys Solt and Peppor get on my nerves . . . I have to fight then all the freakin' time! I'm so tired of them!

Other than that I've been kickin' it. Talked to Otaku In Training last night and he really cheered me up. Thankies, man.

And I've been so bored online I went back to roleplay chatting. But it's actually fun. I forgot how much I liked to roleplay chat. But it works better if you find people who are good roleplayers too . . . It really helps with all the creativity and makes me want to write more stories!

Speaking of stories, I still have to finish that one that's been on hiatus forever . . . I'm so sorry, you guys. I'll work on getting it finished soon. I'm so sorry! ::bows low::

Anyhow, see you next update!

The evil genius has spoken.

Updated the webcam pic finally. And as for the colorless text . . . eh, sorry. I'll deal with it all later. Anyways . . .

Christmas cosplay: Winter Rinoa version! Christmas I got this really neat baby blue vest/jacket thingy. It looks exactly like Rinoa's from FF8 but it's long sleeved, only goes to about mid calf, and doesn't have those neat wing designs on the back. I figured, what the hell . . . I throw on a black tank top, some black pants, and a silver ring on a chain and BAM! I'm Winter Style Rinoa!

I got a bunch of really nice things from my family on Christmas. Normal clothing thingies . . . a few CD's . . . a sustain pedal for my keyboard . . . DDR. Stuff like that. All really nice things which I thanked everyone profusely for. I didn't get Rush Hour 2 though. But that was about the only thing that I would've liked to have had but didn't get. It's really not like I asked for much this year anyway . . .

But I dunno, it still doesn't feel much like the holidays. I'm not sure about all of you but I've got the holiday blues bad this year (at least, I think that's what it is). It's just a time where I'd much rather cry and go hide than smile and feel the magic of the season. I mean, I feel it . . . but it's just not the same. Nothing's really the same . . . everything's changed so much . . . Makes me all sadness.

I'm thinking maybe I'm all totally sad 'cause all my usual activities are on hold 'til after the new year. They're what make me all happy and distracted. So I'll see if my mood changes after those start back up again. If not, I'm gonna talk to my doctor and see if I'm really alright or if I should be popping an anti-depressant every day.

Well, 'kachan just invited me to go see Lord of the Rings tomorrow but I'm feeling so down I just feel like disappearing totally with my turtle, Tama-chan. But . . . maybe going out is something I need . . . I dunno.

::sigh:: We'll see what happens.

The evil genius has spoken.

Lifehouse's "Hanging By a Moment" got number one single of 2001 on the Billboard charts. You better believe it! That's m'song! ::beams proudly:: I love that song!

Anyhow . . . been a lot going on lately . . . ::sigh:: But now the madness is starting to die down. Had the concert . . . that went over really well. I played my bells and sang and really impressed my family!

Wednesday went to the baby's funeral. That was really heartbreaking. I couldn't stop crying, it was so sad. But then I had to go to work and be strong for all those little kids, especially his big sister, who's in my class.

She was hella sad because there was a parent potluck going on and her parents weren't there. I asked her why she looked so sad and she said, "Miss Hitomi, I wish my mommy was here." I explained that her mom had to be with her dad and said, "If you want to, I'll be your mommy for today, sweetie." And she was hella happy and all smiles. So I went around calling her "my baby," "my darling," "sweetie," "little angel" and so forth. I even sat down in the sandbox and made a castle with her. The look on her face . . . it was like I had given her the world. It was the best feeling ever.

Her brothers came in the next day and I gave them hugs and stuff. I feel so close to those children, I feel like they're my own. And they're always like, "Miss Hitomi, I love you!" and hella hugging me. I donated one of my paychecks to their family for the funeral expenses and everything. And it felt really good to give. I encourage you all to donate what you can to someone that could really use it, whether it be money or time or whatever. It makes you feel really wonderful.

This Christmas season has been very odd . . . but it has been nice because I've gottten a chance to give from my heart and really make a difference . . . and even though I don't have kids, I've discovered that though all the preschoolers in the program feel like my kids, three little children in particular really feel that close to me . . . closer than any of the others. And it makes me insanely happy to know I can do things in their lives to make a difference!

Anyhow, I have to go get dressed because I have to go drop off Christmas presents for my little kids. ^.^! I'm so glad I bought extra stuff . . . I can give those three little darlings toys for Christmas. ^.^! They'll be so happy!

The evil genius has spoken.

A family I'm extremely close to recently suffered the loss of their week old baby son. I heard about it today though it happened on Monday (I think, I was too upset to pay attention to the day). The baby had two older twin brothers (5 years) and an older sister (4 years) but they don't yet know what happened. All they know is that the baby went to the doctor's office (he passed away during the visit to the physician) and who knows . . . maybe they're expecting and waiting for him to come back. I feel really badly for them because they haven't really known their brother for very long and are already having to say good-bye to him. I'm really close to the children of the family . . .

Right now the sister is in the class I'm teaching in. And her twin brothers were in my class last year. I remember when they used to have problems I'd sit and try to help them as much as I could. And when they were sad and struggling and stuff, I remember sitting there and crying for them because I wanted to help them . . . and because I'd grown so close to them. So right now I can totally feel for them. It makes me really sad. But I don't want to cry anymore . . . I've been crying on and off all night . . .

I know things happen for a reason . . . but sometimes they're not very fair . . .

I want to do what I can for the family. I know they're going through a tough time . . . and the children will go through a hard time too. I want to be there for them. I'm hoping the memorial service will be on a day when I can actually attend it. Because I want to be there for them.

Please keep this family in your thoughts during the Christmas season. And if you see someone else sad around the holidays, take the time to stop and offer them a smile or a comforting word or a prayer if you practice that sort of thing or even a friendly gesture. They'll really appreciate it. Because, that's what this time of year is all about.

Anyway, I'm very sad so I'm going to go right now. I know I'm behind on my email for those of you that have sent me some. Please forgive me if I take a bit longer to reply. First I was busy and now this . . . but I'll try my best to respond next week . . .

Have a good night, everyone. See you next blog when hopefully things will be a lot more cheery.