Anime and the like aren't mine. Y'know that already though. ^_^*.
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Onegai, send ideas etc. to: Hitomi_sama@hotmail.com (RE: Slayers
advice)

			Ask the Slayers
			   4.15-4.30

::The studio mail box creaks open and cyber crickets are heard::

Maze: "There's no mail!!!" (whines and smashes his face against the
screen) "You guys just don't want me to have anything to read do you?!?
Is that it? It's because you don't like me, isn't it?!? Chicks love me
but all you readers don't!" (whines dramatically) "I see how it is!
Fine then!"

Gatti: "Maze, stop harassing the readers. Whining and crying
pathetically isn't going to prompt them to write in."

Tokiya: "Get a grip, moron."

Tamahome: "You're giving us bishonen a bad name."

Maze: "Stuff it, Tamahome!" (whines) "I wanna read the mail. What's
wrong with that? No one's asking any questions! I feel so useless!!!"

::In walks a boy with raven hair and piercing eyes who's dressed
totally in black::

Visitor: "I have a question."

Tasuki: "Who the hell are you?"

Chichiri: "Don't be rude, na no da!"

Visitor: (in a calm cold voice) "I have a question."

Maze: "Well, what is it? Write it down so I can read it! Hurry!"
(shoves a pen and paper into the visitor's hands)

::The visitor scribbles some kanji onto the paper while all the
bishonen watch over his shoulder. When finished, the visitor hands the
paper to Maze::

Maze: (after a moment) "I can't read this kanji!!! Write it in hiragana
for cryin' out loud!"

::Irritated, the visitor scribbles again and hands the paper back to
the bishonen::

Maze: "That's better. Okay, the question is . . . why does everyone
seem to want to be me?"

Diamond: "Well, just who ARE you?"

Viole: (bashes Diamond on the head) "Didn't you watch X?!!? It's Kamui
you dork!"

Van: "You're Kamui?"

Chichiri: "He looks just like you na no da."

Tasuki: "How the hell did you get in here anyway?"

Kamui: "Hitomi let me in."

::The jaws of all of the bishonen drop::

Shesta: "She didn't . . ."

Dallet: "That doesn't mean that you're . . ."

Kamui: "Staying."

Tamahome: "ANOTHER bishonen?!!?"

Kamui: "Are you going to answer my question?"

Viole: "I'll do it. Look, Kamui-kun . . ." (ignores Kamui as he narrows
his flashing red eyes at the Slayer) "You've got awesome powers! You're
cool! Who WOULDN'T wanna be you?"

Miguel: (looking at Kamui jealously) "Damn, I wish I could just say, 'I
am Kamui' and be able to get your powers!"

Dallet: "But you aren't Kamui."

Miguel: "That isn't the point."

Tamahome: "Lemme try. I am Kamui!" (pauses) "Are there any tables
flying around here? Did I break any windows?"

Tasuki: (bashing Tamahome in the head with his Halisen) "Get a grip!"

Guimel: "I wanna be Kamui!"

::Suddenly the bishonen are shouting like a bunch of preschoolers
fighting over who gets to be "it" in a game of tag::

Shesta: "Me too!"

Guimel: "I said it first."

Van: "Shoot, I wouldn't mind having Kamui's powers."

Diamond: "I bet you could be Kamui."

Chichiri: "You look a lot like him na no da."

Maze: "Why not give it a shot! If you don't, I will!"

Tokiya: "Morons." (goes over to Kamui) "They're all morons."

Kamui: "You don't say."

::The bishonen continue to fight over Kamui's powers. Various objects
like pots, pans, tables, chairs, fridges and the like go flying . . .
not from telekinetic powers of any kind, but from the bishonen manually
chucking them at one another in an attempt to be Kamui. Suddenly, all
of the windows in the room blow out. All of the bishonen look at the
emotionless Kamui::

Kamui: "I had nothing to do with that."

Gatti: "If you didn't . . ."

Shesta: "Then who did?"

Van: "It couldn't be . . ."

Hitomi: "Kamui isn't the only one with the powers around here."
(narrows her eyes at the bishonen) "I'm trying to get work done! I
can't when you all are screaming at the top of your lungs and
destroying the house with your bare hands!" (picks up a stack of nearby
papers) "Looks like you boys'll spend the afternoon fixing windows.
Jaa." (walks off humming to herself)

Van: "That Hitomi's something else."

Gatti: "Isn't she though?"

Tokiya: "You morons all deserve it."

Tasuki: "What? You're helping too."

Tokiya: "Are you kidding me? I didn't make this mess."

Shesta: "You're a bishonen too!"

Dallet: "Yeah!"

Miguel: "Kamui's helping too."

Kamui: "Who says I am?"

Viole: "You're a bishonen too!"

Kamui: "How'd you like to clean up broken mirrors on top of the
windows?"

Viole: "You wouldn't."

Kamui: "Watch me."

Viole: (giving in) "DAMMIT! This spoiled-good-for-nothing bishonen's
useless!"

Kamui: (handing him the broom) "Get to work."

Gatti: "Well . . ." (sweeping and addressing the readers at the same
time) "Looks like our hands are full around here for a while. Anyway,
until next time! Don't forget to write us with your questions! Ja
matta!"


(c) 2000 Hitomi-sama