Remember, the bishonen's shows aren't mine . . . etc. etc. etc . . .
***********************************************************************
Send all questions and comments to: Hitomi_sama@hotmail.com 

			     Ask the Slayers
				7.01-7.15

Van: (walking into the room) "Where'd Hitomi go to?"

Gatti: "I dunno, she was gone when we got up."

Kamui: "Maybe she wanted to get away from all of you."

Tasuki: "Oi! Shaddap!" (turns and instead of pointing to Kamui
accidentally points at Tokiya)

Tokiya: "Why don't you make me, moron?"

Kenshin: "Mah mah, de gozaru. Hitomi-dono left all of us a note de
gozaru!"

Maze: "What does it say? What does it say?"

Diamond: "Let me read it!"

Shesta: "No, me! I wanna!"

::All of the bishonen fight over who's going to read Hitomi's letter.
They all try to get to the computer screen first and end up trampling
Kenshin::

Kenshin: "Oro ro ro ro . . ."

Van: "You all squashed Kenshin!"

Kamui: "And?"

Tamahome: "I don't like your attitude . . ."

Kamui: "None of you ever do. Who cares?"

Kenshin: "Excuse me de gozaru . . . you're all heavy de gozaru . . ."

Chichiri: "Are you okay na no da?"

Kenshin: (eyes currently swirls) "Hai de gozaru . . ."

Miguel: "Just let Kenshin read it. He's closest to the screen."

::Half of the bishonen sigh in defeat::

Kenshin: "Here's what Hitomi-dono wrote . . . 'Dear boys, I've gone to
get my Guymelef washed de gozaru. I won't be back until later de
gozaru. Kenshin, cook us some dinner onegai de gozaru. Dallet, no going
on line to look at Bishoujo Senshi Sailormoon hentai de gozaru.'"

Dallet: "Shimatta!"

Kenshin: "'The rest of you, don't fight onegai de gozaru. I don't want
to come back home to find holes blasted in the wall de gozaru. Keep
yourselves busy by writing a column de gozaru. Be back later, Hitomi-
dono.'"

Kamui: "I don't think she wrote that. Since when does Hitomi say 'de
gozaru' at the end of every sentence?"

Kenshin: "You aren't making fun of the way I speak, are you de gozaru?"

Kamui: "Yeah, what of it?"

Kenshin: "Just making sure de gozaru."

::All of the bishonen sigh::

Maze: "Here I thought we'd get another psycho bishonen who starts
fights for every little thing on earth . . . this one doesn't get mad
over anything." (takes Kenshin by the shoulders and starts shaking him)
"You used to be Hitokiri Battousai!!! What's the matter with you?!?"

Kenshin: "I gave all of that up de gozaru."

Maze: (drops Kenshin on the ground) "You're no fun."

Diamond: (sighing) "So just what are we going to be writing this column
about?"

Kenshin: "Hitomi-dono forwarded us a question de gozaru yo." (ignores
Maze who is currently poking him with Van's sheathed sword to try and
provoke him)

Van: "Hey, give that back!" (lunges at Maze and tries to get his stolen
sword back)

Maze: "If I can just irritate him enough . . . then maybe . . . maybe
we can have some fun . . . heh heh heh . . ."

Kenshin: (pointing at the computer screen and trying to push the fact
that Maze is currently bashing him over the head out of his mind) "Here
it is gozaru na."

Maze: (tiring of poking Kenshin) "LEMME READ IT!!!" (jumps over the
Rurouni and shoves all opposing bishonen out of his way) "It's MY
turn."

Diamond: (sweatdropping) "Just read it."

Maze: "It says, 'Dragon Slayers, aren't you guys out of a job? I mean,
Van and the 'dragon' Escaflowne are kinda on your side and Hitomi-
sama's forbidden you to chase him. So without a dragon to hunt aren't
you guys screwed and no longer Dragon Slayers?'"

Gatti: "Good question. No, we're not out of a job."

Viole: (bitterly holding up a duster and a broom) "Hitomi-sama gives us
enough to do around here . . ."

Guimel: "I don't think that's exactly what they meant."

Miguel: "We'll never stop being Dragon Slayers! Once a Dragon Slayer,
always a Dragon Slayer!"

Dragon Slayers: "RIGHT!!!"

Shesta: "Dragon Slayers until we die!!!"

::All the bishonen look at Shesta::

Shesta: "Um . . . until we die . . . again . . . and even then . . ."

Dragon Slayers: "YEAH!!!"

Viole: "Besides, even if we're forbidden to hunt that Fanelian string-
bean down and torment him . . . do you honestly think we'd give that
up? I mean, we still gotta pay that bastard back for killing us!"

Dragon Slayers: (glaring at Van) "RIGHT!!!"

Van: (pulling Maze's sleeve trying to get his attention) "Maze! Maze!
Hey Maze! Can I have my sword back? I don't like the way they're all
looking at me there . . . Maze! This is a matter of life or death!
Maze!" (looks to see Maze has resumed poking Kenshin with the sheath of
his sword) "Hey! Quit picking on Kenshin and GIMME BACK MY SWORD!
NOW!!!"

::The Dragon Slayers begin to run after Van::

Viole: "Don't worry. Hitomi-sama won't know . . . we'll be done with
you by the time she gets home . . . heh heh heh . . ."

Shesta: "Besides? What's a day in the basement . . . with the spiders?"

Van: "Spiders?!?" (shakes Maze) "Give me my sword NOW!!!"

Maze: "C'mon Kenshin . . . where's that Battousai I've heard
about . . ."

Dragon Slayers: "Here we come!"

Van: "Not again!" (runs away screaming like a girl)

Gatti: "Well, that's it for this time. Keep sending in your questions.
As for me, I've got to go find that rope . . ."


(c) 2000 Hitomi-sama