You Know You Watch Escaflowne Too Much When . . .

This list was written mostly by me and my crazy little mind. Brace
yourself 'cause this might not be pretty . . . Heh heh heh . . . Remember this is all done in fun, okay? So don't get offended when I
poke fun. If you have any ideas, please submit them! Send ideas to (put RE: YKYWETMW)!

Also, Escaflowne and all characters and stuff like that belongs to lots of people none of whom is yours truly. I don't claim to be the genius who came up with the series . . . I'm only claiming to have come up with this list  . . .

You sit down and watch the entire series, all thirteen hours worth, straight though without pausing except to quickly change tapes.

You want to sit down and watch the series straight through.

You exclaim, "There's no such thing as watching too much Escaflowne!"

You're watching the series while you're reading this.

You plan an "Escaflowne-athon" and invite your friends over to watch with you.

You get your friends hooked on the series and they only saw one episode.

Your friend gets hooked and they didn't even see the series from the beginning.

You run around your house screaming for Balgus.

You're playing video games and when you're battling someone and you need help you start screaming wildly for Jajuka.

You ransack your room until you find a pendant that resembles the one Hitomi wears and then proceed to wear it everywhere you go.

You were wearing a pendant remotely like Hitomi's before you saw the series.

You start telling time by swinging your pendant like a pendulum.

You can actually tell time using your pendant.

You start annoying your friends by trying to count the seconds by using your pendant.

You're afraid to go to sleep for fear that there are invisible
Guymelefs hiding under your bed and in your closet that will come out and attack you.

You're afraid to cry on your bed for fear that Geckos will fall from the ceiling and kidnap you.

You're afraid to cry on your bed for fear that a pink haired cat-girl will come and annoy you.

You're suddenly hungry for snails.

Before eating the snails, you swear you see Jajuka warning you not to.

You want some vino to finish off the snails.

You swear off piscus.

You want a Guymelef of your very own.

You want an Ispano Guymelef . . . namely Escaflowne.

You want a stealth cloak for your Guymelef.

You're reading this while sitting in you own homemade Guymelef.

You wish Balgus had taught you how to sword fight.

You think Allen is a snazzy dresser.

You wish you had angel wings like Van.

You're convinced that you really do have angel wings like Van.

You firmly believe that you are secretly a Draconian and that you were abandoned at birth and haven't been told for fear that if the Gaeans found out . . . they'd come and hunt you down.

You think that Folken's wings looked cooler than his little brother's.

You wonder . . . if Naria and Eriya weren't sisters . . .

You wonder if Naria and Eriya used a two-sided coin when they fought over kissing Folken.

You wonder why Naria and Eriya were so damn lucky.

You realize Naria and Eriya weren't that lucky after all. They never caught Van or did any significant damage to his Guymelef. In the end they aged really quickly and died. I wouldn't call that luck.

You think it was sad Folken's lips had "no love" in them.

You believe you could put some love into Folken's lips.

You understand why Naria and Eriya were in love with Folken.

You find yourself in love with Folken.

You say, "Forget Folken, Allen's much cuter."

You think, "To hell with Allen, Van's my man!"

You actually go for Dryden's unshaved long curly haired look.

You're in love with Dilandau . . . it must be his beady little
bloodthirsty eyes . . .

You knew the first time you saw Dilandau that he looked and sounded just a bit too girlish.

You've sworn revenge on Dornkirk for using that damned Fate Altering Machine.

You would have killed Dornkirk if Folken hadn't done it.

You're firmly convinced that Dornkirk was really Isaac Newton.

You enjoyed all those times when Van was shirtless.

You think Princess Millerna got what she deserved when she was forced to marry Dryden.

You were sad when you found out Allen was a playboy.

You swore revenge on the Duke of Freid.

You swore revenge twice on the Duke when he was being so mean to Chid when Freid was burning to the ground and he told him not to cry.

You swore revenge on Chid for signing a treaty with the Zaibach.

You swore revenge on Meiden when he sent those Geckos to kidnap Hitomi.

You aren't satisfied with going after Meiden. After all, you barely see him at all. Instead you do the next best thing and swear revenge on his son, Dryden.

You wonder what the Duchy of Freid would have been like if Gaea had a modern Mystic Moon invention called Rogain.

You wonder what the Ispano Clan was going to do with five million dollars.

You wonder what the Ispano Clan are going to do with the eighty million dollar convoy that Dryden paid them off with instead.

You wonder how Dryden could have afforded that convoy in the first place.

You wonder how many calls from animal rights activists Dryden got when they saw the mermaid he bought. You realize he did set her free.

You treasure the fifty-four playing card deck you bought. They even have a foiled back!

You plan on scanning all of your card deck onto your computer.

You intend on tormenting all your friends who aren't as into the series as you are with your scanned pictures.

You cry for days when you can't get your scanner to work so you can torment people with your Escaflowne pictures.

You are on a quest to hunt down every Escaflowne related picture that exists on the 'net.

You can't wait until you download all the MP3's from the CD's onto your computer or MP3 player.

You own all five CD's.

You own all the videos.

You own a copy of all or both of the above.

You memorize the words to all the songs.

You're listening to the CD's while you're reading this (I'm listening to 'em while I'm typing!).

You're bored and start humming a song from the series.

Your favorite song is "No Need to Promise".

You've deemed "No Need to Promise" the theme song for your life (check Unmei's media section if you don't believe me)!

You hear "No Need to Promise" and it cheers you up every time.

You sing along to "No Need to Promise" at the beginning of each episode.

You sing along to "Mystic Eyes" at the end of each episode.

You think the series isn't complete unless you join in with both theme songs.

You enjoy the beginning of "Mystic Eyes" because you think it's cool when Van's glove glows.

You actually understand why Van's glove glows.

You get mad at the credits because they show Hitomi and Amano kissing and they never do!

You were sad when the series ended.

You thought thirteen hours was just not enough.

Hearing the orchestral score to the end of the show brings a tear to your eye every time.

You were upset because Hitomi gave her pendant to Van. If she had kept it I bet she could've gone back to Gaea.

You were upset because Hitomi didn't stay in Gaea.

You were very upset because Hitomi and Van never kissed.

You think Dilandau made a better guy than a girl. Celena was kinda ugly.

You liked Allen's owl.

You know the name of Allen's owl.

You wondered just where Allen's owl went during the middle of the series.

You know the owl just didn't disappear . . . you must not have noticed him.

You vow to watch all of the episodes over again just to see if the owl was there during the middle of the series.

You watch the series but get so into it that you forget to look for the owl.

You have a deck of tarot cards that are the exact replicas of the ones Hitomi had.

You pay a friend for a little Escaflowne music box he got in Japan for fifteen dollars (think Princess Marlene's-the one that plays "No Need to Promise"). He really doesn't want to part with it but you end up winning him over by paying him a whopping forty-five dollars. (Dedicated to Fei!)

You play the music box version of "No Need to Promise" (on the Over the Sky CD) while you're sleeping or taking a nap and put it on continuous play until you wake up.

You actually buy the entire boxed video collection.

You want to go to Japan and see the new Escaflowne movie even though you know little to no Japanese.

You vow to learn Japanese just so you can understand the new movie when you go to Japan to see it. After all, it won't be subtitled then.

You're learning Japanese right now so you can understand Escaflowne. You're just too lazy to read the subtitles anymore.

You don't need to read the subtitles anymore, you know the entire English translation by heart.

You know both the English translation and the Japanese dialogue to the entire series by heart.

Not only do you know the above but you also know the music by heart and which episode(s) they correspond with.

It doesn't bother you that they keep playing "Dance of Curse" and "Flying Dragon" over and over in the series.

Your favorite songs are "Dance of Curse" and "Flying Dragon". What a coincidence!

You start referring to the series as "that wonderful piece of anime," "that kick ass mech series," or "Escaflown".

You hated mech series' before you saw Escaflowne but once you did you fell in love.

You tried your hardest not to get totally hooked but after one episode you were beyond hope.

You hate any anime with blood and gore in it but after seeing Escaflowne and getting totally hooked you choose to ignore those feelings but only for this series. All other bloody anime still grosses you out.

You ditch your former million dollar anime obsession and begin officially collecting Escaflowne stuff.

You enjoy sitting through the super long lead in that's at the beginning of the distributed videos (I don't know how long they are in the other videos).

You enjoy the Guymelef battle at the beginning of each episode but only because their giant capes blowing in the wind. (That's for Eternal Phoenix who pointed out "the capes!!!" every time a new episode came on!)

You attempt to have visions, just like Hitomi.

You attempt to have visions like Hitomi . . . and you do.

You attempt to have visions like Hitomi, which you do . . . and they come true!

You insist that all your friends call you by the name of your favorite character.

Your e-mail address is the name of (or has to do with) your favorite character.

You take offense when people try to call you by the name of a different character.

You start giving character names to all your friends.

You list all the ways that you're like your favorite character.

You realize that you've almost died as many times as Hitomi did.

You notice that you've got a scar on your cheek exactly where Dilandau does.

You swear that Van gave you the scar . . . you just can't remember it . . . and you vow revenge.

You run around mumbling to yourself that your scar stings and throbs. You end up going insane.

You're inspired by Dilandau and his insanity.

You can chuckle (not to mention laugh) like Dilandau on command.

You take pride in your Dilandau laugh.

You scare everyone with your Dilandau laugh.

You want to get a tear drop tattoo under your right eye just like Folken.

You actually get a tear drop tattoo like Folken.

You actually liked Princess Millerna.

You knew what Princess Eries was wearing on her ears.

You didn't know what Princess Eries was wearing on her ears but you thought she looked like a Vulcan from Star Trek.

You felt sorry for Princess Millerna when she married Dryden.

The reason you felt sorry for the princess was because her wedding dress was so ugly.

You wonder why the princess couldn't have had a nicer dress to get married in.

You couldn't understand why Princess Millerna got married in the same dress her older sister, Princess Marlene got married in.

You liked the ridiculous costume Dryden got married in.

You liked the wild oversized get-up Van wore when he was crowned king of Fanelia.

You want a crazy helmet like Van's coronation hat.

You wouldn't mind having a sword just like Van's.

You screamed, yelled, protested, wailed, and threw a royal fit when Dornkirk used the Fate Altering Machine.

You saw "Operation Golden Rule of Love" more than five times and each time you still couldn't stop yourself from screaming at him.

You think Dornkirk was way more than wrong to use his machine to make Allen and Hitomi kiss.

You would've wanted to see if Allen and Hitomi would've kissed without being manipulated by the Zaibach.

You think Dornkirk should've used the machine of Van and Hitomi instead.

You think it would have been interesting if Naria and Eriya had a cat fight over Folken right in the middle of an episode.

You wish Allen would "spout off crap" to you "with a straight face".

You enjoy every second of screen time Allen's bums have.

You enjoy the time Dilandau's Dragon Slayers spend on the screen even more.

You cried when Van killed all of the Dragon Slayers. Poor Gatti was so good looking too!

You didn't get the wrong idea when Van said he wanted Hitomi.

You can actually stand Merle's whining.

You know why Merle wears a nail file around her neck like a necklace.

You too want to wear a nail file around your neck.

For Halloween you want to be Merle so you hang a nail file around your neck, get a pink wig, a pair of wild cat ears, a yellow dress you can see up, glue a long tail to your butt, paint stripes all over yourself and run around all fours down the street.

You do the above and in addition you accompany your friends. The girl who's dressed as Hitomi shows you her necklace which you steal. She chases you down the street yelling that you're a "cat burglar". One of your friends brings along a boom box and plays Merle's songs during the chase.

You build an elaborate moving machine on wheels for Halloween. You get inside, put on a long curly white wig and go as Dornkirk. You demand candy from people and if they don't give you what you want you threaten to fate alter them.

You dress up as Dilandau for Halloween. If people refuse to give you good candy, you start to laugh (you're infamous for your evil laugh) and proceed to point your plastic sword at them and inform them that you've got your invisible Guymelef with you. When they start laughing
at you you call your Dragon Slayers to come back you up.

You decide to go as Van for Halloween. When people give you retarded candy, you're convinced that they work for the Zaibach and that it's apart of their plot to take over Gaea. The homeowners get scared when you begin to describe to them a detailed plan to get Escaflowne and
kill them all.

Halloween is the perfect time for you to dress up as Allen! Everyone seems to give you the best candy . . . especially when women are handing it out. But your friends curse your luck and chase you down the street, whacking you with their bags and commenting about how much of a
"playboy" you are.

Allen's costume isn't for you. You'd rather go as Dryden. You don't shave for days, pull your curly hair into a ponytail, and throw on a ol' brown coat. You put on your shades as you step outside. Unfortunately it's too dark and you slip and fall.

Your favorite character is Hitomi. You've got the complete Halloween outfit, pendant and all, and go with your friends. Everyone gets tired of all the visions you have where you get all the best candy and vow revenge when your visions come true.

Hitomi isn't your cup of tea. You'd rather go as Millerna. You get all decked out in that tomboyish outfit and go. You start whining when you get too into your part and complain because you don't get the best candy.

You think Folken is the coolest so you dress up like him.
Unfortunately, wearing that long black cape makes you virtually invisible in the dark. Little kids keep bumping into you and stepping on your cape the entire night.

Balgus is where it's at. You did your face up with all the scars and you're dressed in great armor. If only you hadn't insisted on bringing a real life sword to trick-or-treat with! You're dragging the weapon around everywhere.

You've got a little brother that you (force to) dress as Chid. All the adults wonder exactly "what he is" and "what's wrong with that child."

You vow revenge on all the anime-ignorant people who give your group funny looks on Halloween and steal Balgus' sword in order to teach them a lesson. Dilandau joins with his sword, his "invisible Guymelef" and  his Dragon Slayers. Van also aids in the massacre. Allen says that he's "too pretty" to fight and Dryden mumbles about "it's too dark to fight, especially with sunglasses on"-that is, in between his complaints about the headache he has from falling down so many times.

You don't go Trick-or-Treating. Instead you stay in and hand out candy while watching Escaflowne.

While watching Escaflowne, trick-or-treaters wonder what you're watching when they come to your door. Some kids get scared when they hear battle cries from the Zaibach. The little kids smile at you because you're watching a cartoon . . . just like a little kid.

You know Escaflowne isn't a little kid's cartoon and take offense.

You see a sign that says "Handicap parking only, Van accessible" and become offended saying, "Van isn't handicapped!"

You remember Dryden is Meiden's eldest son. You don't even want to think of what Dryden's brother might look like.

You'd actually like to see Dryden's brother.

You think Dryden's the man. You wonder if he's got sisters too.

You run around claiming to be the illegitimate child of a knight of Caeli. (Submitted by Fei)

You go around whistling the same Fanelian Folk Song that Folken did.

You've attempted to whistle but have failed horribly. Instead you go around humming Folken's song. (Don't laugh at me Fei, not everyone can whistle!)

You would have liked to see Van whistle (or hum) the Fanelian Folk Song.

You would have liked to see Van successfully attack Folken when he
heard him whistling the Fanelian Folk Song.

You think Van should have thrown the metal candlestick holder at Folken when he took his sword away from him.

You wonder just exactly what Folken did to Van when he stuck part of
his metal hand in his neck.

You watch the entire series, expecting Van to suddenly collapse in
pain, cursing that Folken had injected him with something when he was a prisoner of the Zaibach.

You think Folken should have injected Van with something.

You watch the series again, hoping things will magically change and
turn out differently than the million times you've watched before.

You would like to see Folken inject Van with something that takes over
his mind and turns him into a Zaibach.

You think Van would make a good Zaibach.

You think that if Van was a Zaibach, he could team up with Dilandau and go after Allen.

You realize that if Van were a Zaibach, when Dilandau changes back into Celena they could go out.

You think Van and Celena would be a good couple.

You think Hitomi and Allen would be a good couple.

You know Van and Hitomi would be a better couple.

You think that Dryden should have married the mermaid he bought instead of that spoiled brat, Princess Millerna.

You want Princess Marlene to come back to life, ditch the Duke of
Freid, run away with Chid and become Allen's wife so that Princess
Millerna will leave him alone.

You don't know how Princess Marlene could stand her husband and
understand why she died so early.

You wonder if Princess Millerna will die early too because she can't
stand her husband, Dryden.

You went through the series, hoping that Millerna would kick the

You got mad at Princess Millerna when she saved Allen's life. Not
because she saved Allen but because she was the one who did it.

You got mad when Dryden paid for the repair of Escaflowne. Not because it saved Van's life but because he was so arrogant about it.

Whenever you see the name "Alan" you want to fix it so it's spelled

You want to drive a mini-van just so you can tell people you've got

You buy a mini-van . . . a white one . . . and name it Escaflowne . . .
and nickname it the White Dragon. Then you can tell everyone you've got "Van" and "Escaflowne".

You buy a gray car and name is Scherazade.

You buy a car and name it after your retarded middle name, just like

You buy a large clunky red mini-van or truck and call it the Crusade.

Whenever you give your friends a ride in the junker you call the
Crusade, you load them into the back yelling, "C'mon, get in you bums!"

Whenever you see a white van you chase after it, cursing the White
Dragon for interfering with your perfect destiny.

You get a speeding ticket (or one for reckless driving) after you chase
the white mini-van. You curse your luck but chase after the car again,
believing that once you catch the White Dragon the future will change
and your ticket will be no more.

You attempt to fate alter the speeding ticket you got after chasing the
white mini-van.

You pull the speeding ticket (you forgot to take out of your pants
before they went into the laundry) out of your pocket. It's nothing
more than a dried pulpy mess. You're convinced that you were successful in fate altering it.

You buy a red car and tailgate every white mini-van you see, screaming, "You're mine! Moero!" and honking your horn while tossing half smoked cigarettes out the window.

You convince all your friends to buy blue cars. You all drive down the
freeway. You lead the cars (who you insist are your Dragon Slayer's
Guymelefs) down the freeway in your red car. People honk their horns at you because your gang recklessly swerving in and out of traffic in an
attempt to catch up with the white mini-van you've just spotted.

All the white mini-vans in existence have restraining orders against
you and your gang.

You've got a restraining order against all red cars.

You see a blue car and instantly look around for a red one nearby. You
know that it's around waiting for the moment to chase you again.

You constantly compare other anime guys in different series to the ones in  Escaflowne.

You heard that Alan was a bad guy in Sailor Moon. You become angry
because you couldn't picture Allen doing anything evil. You're relieved
when you saw it wasn't Allen Schezar they were talking about. Now
whenever you hear about Alan in Sailor Moon you refer to him as "a
sorry excuse for a Allen if I ever saw one."

You try to compare Van to Darien in Sailor Moon. (Darien lovers, close your eyes here!) You quickly realize it's a sorry comparison. Van's hair is much cooler, he doesn't go around saying dumb speeches, his sword could easily chop Darien to pieces, and Escaflowne could step on him and squish him like a bug!

(Darien lovers, keep your eyes closed again!) You decide it might be
fun to see who would win in a battle: Van or Darien. It doesn't take
you long to realize that Van would win. But a huge Guymelef against a
tiny little caped man isn't fair. Okay, hand to hand combat! Even then,
Darien's cane is no match for Van's still sloppy but still quite
awesome swordwork. (Of course, if Tuxedo Mask used "Tuxedo the Smoking Bomber" like in the mangas he might have a chance.)

You compare the Zaibach to all other villains in other series'.

You think the Zaibach could have formed a good alliance with the
Negamoon from Sailor Moon.

You think that Wise Man from Sailor Moon and Dornkirk were thinking the same way in their plans to manipulate the past to create a different future. Of course, Dornkirk was after no war where Wise Man was looking at complete world domination.

You think Wise Man and Dornkirk should have worked together.

You realize that if Dornkirk and Wise Man had worked together Wise Man would eventually kill that skinny little wuss.

You notice the similarities between Merle and Rini from Sailor Moon.
Both have pink hair, they're both annoying both take things that aren't
theirs-what they both take just happens to be jewelry, they're both in
love with dark haired men they can't have and they both have cute
little theme songs that play when they come on.

You see the dragon in Sailor Moon R and think, "Couldn't they have made it look better? More like the land dragons in Escaflowne?"

You see the dragon above and expect Van to appear out of nowhere and save Sailor Moon and the scouts.

You think Tuxedo Mask could have taken slaying lessons from Van.

You wonder how Dornkirk stayed alive if he was so sickly looking.

You think that if Lita from Sailor Moon had cooked for Dornkirk he
wouldn't have looked as scrawny as he did.

Your mother is actually proud that you're watching Escaflowne. She says it sure beats watching the other anime you've been so obsessed with.

Your mother openly admits that she doesn't care how violent Escaflowne is.

You've got witnesses who heard your mother say the above.

It doesn't bother you that the Doppleganger didn't have any pants on.

You think the Doppleganger has no modesty at all and scream whenever you see his naked butt.

You personally hand sew a pair of pants you'll eventually send to TV
Tokyo or Sunrise, whoever is in charge of the series, addressed to "the
butt naked crazy Doppleganger."

You hated the Doppleganger as much as Dilandau did.

If Dilandau hadn't killed the Doppleganger you would have done it

You were offended for Dilandau when Allen asked him if he was a
Doppleganger when he fate altered out of Celena's form right before his

You wanted to slap Folken for using the Doppleganger.

You thought the dolphin-man in Palas was cute.

You thought the bird-man in the marketplace was cool.

You want to go to Palas so you can buy some CD's.

You dream you do go to Palas for CD's. The owner of the bazaar table
offers to make you a necklace out of one. You pop it into your CD
player and find that it's the Maaya Sakamoto CD you've been looking all
over for. Then you wake up.

You think that Allen and Amano should have met and had a fight. It
would be interesting because Allen could chase after him with his sword
and Amano could run away. I don't think Allen could catch a track star
so easily.

You think that it would have been cool if the series had featured a
special two against one fight. Not Van and Allen against Dilandau, but
Hitomi and Princess Millerna against Allen. Allen wouldn't really be
fighting against the girls so much as fighting them off.

You think up another fight. Hitomi verses Merle. Now that's a cat

You think up yet another fight. Allen verses Dryden. First prize is
Princess Millerna.

You would've liked to have seen Van fight Folken.

You dream of one day going to Gaea.

You'll do anything to go to Gaea.

You're convinced you're actually a long lost citizen of Gaea . . . you
just haven't found out yet.

You believe you're really a Fanelian.

Whenever anyone asks you, "What planet are YOU from?" you answer,
"Gaea, thank you very much."

Whenever anyone asks you, "Where's your head today?" you answer, "In
Fanelia, it's visiting Van."

Whenever you hear the name "Van" you blush, giggle, and become silent.

When people say "Van" you still blush and giggle . . . and they were
talking about cars.

You blush and giggle whenever you hear words that remotely sound like

The only Katakana (Japanese syllabary for imported words and names) you
know are the characters that make up Van's name.

You actually know Van's whole name. Even his middle name.

You search for someone named Van Fanel.

You actually find one.

You ask Van where Escaflowne is.

Van Fanel now has a restraining order against you.

The name "Allen" makes you swoon.

You want to write "Schezar" in Katakana and spend hours trying to
figure out which characters to use.

You know Allen's whole name. Even his stupid middle name.

You try to hunt down an Allen Schezar.

You actually find one and ask him to "spout of crap" to you "with a
straight face."

Allen Schezar laughs in your face instead.

Allen Schezar gets a restraining order against you.

You want to go to Japan and find a girl named Hitomi Kanzaki.

You already know Hitomi's whole name. She doesn't have a middle name.
You learned in your Japanese class that Japanese people don't have
middle names.

You find a Hitomi Kanzaki in Japan and ask her if she's ever been to
Gaea. That is, with the help of your handy Japanese to English and back
again dictionary.

Hitomi replies that she has.

Hitomi slams the door in your face and laughs.

Hitomi Kanzaki gets an international retraining order against you.

You're disappointed because you know there's no way you'll find someone
named Millerna Aston.

You know there's no chance of you finding an Eries Aston either.

You think you just might run into a Marlene Aston.

You find Marlene Aston.

You claim that you're related to Naria and Eryia because you're so
lucky for finding Marlene.

You're disappointed because you find out that Marlene is dead.

You go to see her son instead. You remark that he looks a lot like
Allen Schezar and nothing like his father.

You get into a fight with Marlene's husband because you swear he's the
Duke of Freid in disguise. The police come and take you away. Now
Marlene Aston's family has a restraining order against you.

 You know Millerna's whole name. Even her middle name.

You know everyone's name. Even Chid's.

You join the track team at your school in hopes that one day Van will
appear in the middle of your one hundred meter dash.

You take up dowsing in order to become more like Hitomi.

You successfully take up dowsing to be more like Hitomi.

You read up on tarot cards so that when you go to Gaea you'll be able
to tell everyone their futures.

You take up fencing or kendo so that when you go to Gaea, you can spar
with Allen and Van. You want to impress them with your sword fighting

You hope that after you impress them with your fighting skills, Allen
and Can will feel so generous that they'll give you your own Guymelef
and ask you to fight by their side.

You do the above and you're a girl. That's even more impressive in
Gaea. Girls don't usually fight.

You dream of becoming a Knight of Caeli one day. (Submitted by Fei)

You plan on one day going to Gaea, falling in love with Van, marrying
him, and becoming Queen of Fanelia.

You want to have little winged children with Van.

You would be prepared to fight Hitomi for Van.

You plan on brainwashing Van into believing that you're really Hitomi.

You already consider yourself Hitomi. You demand you're really her.

You plan on one day going to Gaea, falling in love with Allen, marrying
him, and laughing in Princess Millerna's face because you stole her

You wouldn't mind adopting Chid.

You actually plan on going to Gaea, falling in love with Princess
Millerna, fighting with Dryden, stealing her from him, and laughing in
Dryden's face because you stole his woman.

You do all of the above and then run around claiming you're related to

You do steal Princess Millerna and go around claiming you are Allen.

You want to go to Gaea and fall in love with Celena.

It wouldn't bother you if Celena changed into Dilandau.

You'd rather had it the other way around. You find Dilandau way cooler
than Celena.

You want to go to Gaea so you can find a way to bring Folken back to

You do, fall in love with him, and marry him.

You want to have little winged children with Folken.

You wish you were Van's father, Goau because Varie was so stunningly

You say, "Who cares about Goau?" You plan on time traveling back to
Gaea where you'll trick Varie into believing you're really the King of
Fanelia. You'll stage a military coup which overthrows the real Goau,
become king, instruct your subjects to call you Goau, and become Folken
and Van's father.

You'd like to curl up in front of a fireplace with Merle.

When you find out that your best friend has a crush on the same guy you
do, you don't worry about it. You're sure one day you'll be transported
to Gaea where you'll find a guy who looks and sounds exactly like him.

You have written or are writing an Escaflowne fanfic.

You're read a fanfic written by someone else.

You're hunting down every Escaflowne fanfic on the 'net.

You've written or are writing an Escaflowne fanfic series. (Check mine

You've made up your own characters to continue the series with.

You draw phan art for Escaflowne.

You draw phan art to go along with your Escaflowne fanfic series.

You go around finding people that resemble characters from the series.

You find the person who most resembles the character you're in love
with and try to pursue a relationship with them.

You actually get together with the person who most resembles the
character you love and credit your match made in heaven to Escaflowne.

A person who resembles a character you can't stand tries to pursue a
relationship with you. You tell them no way because your characters
wouldn't go good together.

You pursue relationships based on whether or not the person has heard
of Escaflowne, seen Escaflowne, and likes Escaflowne.

You refuse to have anything to do with anyone who doesn't like

You force everyone around you to watch Escaflowne.

Your friends repeatedly tell you you're obsessed.

It no longer bothers you when your friends tell you you're obsessed.

Your friends start to tune you out whenever you say something remotely
sounding like "Es-".

You torment your friends with constant talk about Escaflowne.

You can't get through a conversation without mentioning the series in 
some way.

You can't get through a conversation without laughing like Dilandau at
least once.

You can't get through a conversation without mentioning the character
you like in some form or other.

Your friends get so tired of Escaflowne they plot to lock you up in a
detox. Center for over obsessed anime addicts.

You're overjoyed when your friends tell you they've all had visions.
You're sad when they inform you that their vision was of them duct-
taping your mouth shut so they wouldn't have to listen to any more
Escaflowne talk. Then they built a huge bonfire and threw in all of
your collectables.

Your friends actually do the above and later, when you confront them,
they blame the incident on the Zaibach, claiming they fate altered them
into becoming evil and sacrificing your collectables.

You talk about Escaflowne so much that even though your friends haven't
seen it, they're already experts about it.

You actually get a few of your friends hooked without seeing the

You plan to dress up in a kimono, wear your hair in braids over your
shoulders (don't forget your pinwheel), and walk down the street
claiming you're going to a festival in hopes you'll be spirited away to

You go around saying you hate magicians.

You want to become a magician so you can conduct fate altering
experiments on your friends.

You go to the hair salon, present a picture of your favorite character
and ask them to cut your hair "like that".

You want to get a Hitomi haircut but the stylist gets a little too
happy with the scissors and you end up looking like Dilandau (complete
with the flipping bangs) . . . and you don't mind . . . you actually
think you look better that way . . .

You dye your hair light blue/aqua and buy a giant tub of mousse to get
Folken's 'do.

You dye your hair pink to be like Merle.

You grow your hair out so you can be more like Allen.

You think long hair gets the chicks.

You want to change your middle name to "Crusade" and add a "the VIII"
to the end.

You think Allen appeared in an Indiana Jones movie because it's titled
"Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade".

You and your twin sister buy a pair of white stripped spandex body
suits, buy your hair gold and silver, and start flipping coins when
dealing with matters concerning the guy you both at in love with.

Your family has had a cat since you were a little kid and you're
disappointed it can't talk like Merle.

You dye your cat's hair pink and name it (or rename it) Merle.

You dress your cat in a yellow dress.

You try to teach your cat how to speak.

You try to train your cat to jump on people while screaming "Van-sama!"
and licking their faces.

Your friends start calling you Dilandau and you don't object . . . in
fact you take it as a compliment.

Your friends and family start calling you a pyro . . . and you take it
as a compliment.

You know how to convert your birthday to the Gaean calendar.

You wait patiently for the day when your experiment happy science
teacher will be taken away to Gaea.

You knew Chid was actually a Zaibach! Why else would he sign a treaty
with them?

You knew Chid was actually a Zaibach! After all, he's voiced by Minami
Takayama, the same person who voiced Dilandau.

While learning about the last Czar of Russia you wonder if he was
related to Chid Zar Freid.

You become a pyromaniac because you want to be more like your idol.

You hold people hostage with a nail file. (Submitted by Fei)

You see the "esc" button on your computer and think that by pushing it
you'll call Escaflowne to you.

You see the above button and think it'll enable you to watch all the 
Escaflowne you want.

While watching "The Iron Giant" you see the giant fix himself and
wonder why Escaflowne can't do that too.

While watching "The Iron Giant" you see the giant fixing himself and
you wonder just where the Ispano Clan is hiding.

You beg your parents to let you hook up the spare VCR to your TV so you
can watch Escaflowne 24/7.

They agree because they're sick of you using the family VCR 24/7.

You become greatly offended when your mother calls Escaflowne "dark and

After arguing with her all day, you get your mother to say that you're
right and she's sorry.

You want to get a pager so Amano will page you.

When people ask you where you are on your pager you automatically think
it's Amano.

You wonder which beeper service Hitomi has because it's got a big
coverage area!

You're always afraid your cat is going to steal your necklaces and eat
your pager.

You're always glancing over your shoulder for fear of Invisible Giants
stalking you.

You threaten to send your army of Dragon Slayers after people who make
you mad.

You convince your friends that your invisible Guymelef army is
surrounding their house.

An e-mail to one of your friends consists of only the word "Dilandau"
followed by an insane fit of laughter.

You start talking in Japanese but aren't fluent enough so you start
talking in conversational "Janglish" where you say things like "Nani?"
followed by English.

The headers on your e-mails are all in romanized Japanese.

The headers on your e-mails somehow related to Escaflowne.

You start adding "-sama" and "-san" to everyone's name.

You begin to refer to your mother as "hahaue".

You begin to call your father "chichiue".

You start calling your little brother "otooto".

You call your older brother "anue".

You wonder if your older brother really is Folken which would explain
why you don't like him so much.

You refer to your older sister as "aneki".

You refer to "Two Mix" (Minami Takayama's band) as "Dilandau's band".

You call all the Seiyuu by their character names.

While watching Pokemon you wonder if Charizard has an energist inside

You wait for Van to be teleported to Pallet Town so he can slay Ash's

You wonder if Lickntongue from Pokemon is related to Merle. After all,
they both lick people's faces.

You wonder if Meowth and Merle are related, they are both talking
cats . . .

You go down to your local grocery store and ask for piscus.

You go down to your local liquor store and ask for a bottle of vino.

Every time you see a bottle of wine you feel like scratching the blade
of your dagger across the glass.

Every time you see some wine you want to attack the bottle with your

When you play cards, you always take out the blank card.

You take out the blank card but somehow it shows up back in the deck.

You try to tell the future with a deck of poker cards.

You judge every other anime by Escaflowne's standards.

You deem all other anime "lame and retarded" because it doesn't measure

You adopt Dilandau's "evil eye".

You claim Dilandau stole YOUR "evil eye".

You sew your own Fanelian flag.

You sew the flag of your favorite Gaean nation.

You raise up armies in the name of your favorite Gaean nation.

You and your friends stage a mock war complete with home-made

You buy a model of Escaflowne.

You buy a model of the Scherezade.

You buy a model of both of Dilandau's Guymelefs.

You have all the models.

The word for "damn (it)" in your vocabulary has been replaced by

You scream "shine" at enemies while playing video games.

You consider "burn" a handy new four letter word.

You replace "burn" in your vocabulary with "moreo".

When lighting the Bunsen burner in science class, you start to laugh
like Dilandau.

You want to take home ec. Because you get to cook food . . . with fire.

"Fire" becomes another handy four letter word.

You threaten your friends, family, enemies, inanimate objects, or just
anyone in the general vicinity with fire (lighters, matches, etc.)

While watching Disney's "Hocus Pocus" you expect Dilandau to appear out
of nowhere and go crazy with the Sanderson sisters when Omri Katz's
character mentions the "burning rain of death".

At school, you see a door marked "mech" and you think that it's where
the administration secretly stashes their army of melefs.

You start to worship Isaac Newton.

When learning about Sir Isaac Newton in class you jump up and shout
"that damn traitor! Gaea wouldn't be in such a mess if it weren't for

You start calling Isaac Newton "Dornkirk" even in class.

Things at school seem to always involve Escaflowne in one way or

You're failing science miserably due to the fact that your recent test
looked something like this:
#1-Write your name: you put the name of your favorite character who you
INSIST is you and write it Hiragana or Katakana so your poor science
teacher can't read it.
#2-Sir Isaac Newton was also known as: DORNKIRK.
#3-Isaac Newton discovered: FATE ALTERING (an alternate answer would be
#3-Same question as above except you remarkably got the answer right!
If you hadn't answered GRAVITY your poor science teacher would go out
of his mind. He was beginning to wonder what on Earth could have filled
your mind with such crazy ideas.
#4-How many planets are there: 10. MERCURY, VENUS, THE MYSTIC MOON,
#5-How old was Isaac Newton when he died: 200 YEARS OLD.
#6-How did Isaac Newton die: FOLKEN KILLED THAT S.O.B. and IF HE DIDN'T

You're inspired to take up sword fighting.

Your friend says "division of . . ." and you mistake it as "the vision
of . . . Escaflowne".

You have to purchase a laser disc player and all 13 import laser discs
because your tapes keep getting worn out! (Submitted by Noreen)

You begin to spend large amounts of your free time, maybe even when you
should be sleeping, creating Escaflowne music videos to enter at Anime
Expo's competition. (Submitted by Noreen)

You create Escaflowne music videos just for you and your friends to
enjoy! (Submitted by Noreen)

You commission a jeweller to make an exact replica of the pendant
Hitomi has, and spend your life savings on it! (Submitted by Noreen)

You learned Japanese specifically to translate the song  "Hikari no
nake e". (Submitted by Noreen)

Your license plate reads ESCFLWN or HITOMI. (Submitted by Noreen)

You know you're going to be standing in that line for the Escaflowne
movie at AX2000 no matter how long it is! (Submitted by Noreen)

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Hitomi-sama   { 04.27.01 }


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Layout, content, etc. (c) Hitomi-sama 2001. Anime, characters, plots, etc. (c) their respective owners.