The shows the bishonen are from aren't mine. You knew that though. But
I'm pretty much required to say that.
***********************************************************************
Onegai, send ideas etc. to: Hitomi_sama@hotmail.com (RE: Slayers
advice)

			Ask the Slayers
			   3.16-3.31

::The bishonen are currently sharpening their weapons with lack of
anything else to do. Van and Tokiya are comparing their swords. Tasuki
is polishing his Halisen. The Dragon Slayers are waxing their
Guymelefs, all except Dallet who's going to site after site dedicated
to Bishoujo Senshi Sailormoon::

Shesta: "Dallet, are you about done looking up Bishoujo Senshi
Sailormoon?"

Miguel: "Yeah, we'd like to check our mailbox now."

Dallet: "Fine, fine. It's all yours. Knock yourselves out."

Gatti: (watches the Slayers check the mail) "Did we get anything?"

Viole: "Look!!! Another letter for us!!!" (dances rather girlishly
around the room) "We're popular!!!"

Tasuki: "Wow, all of two letters."

Tamahome: "It's better than nothing."

Diamond: "At least we have something to do now."

Chichiri: "Go on and read it no da!"

Maze: "I want a turn!" (pushes his way to the computer screen) "Lemme
read it!"

Miguel: "Back off! In case you can't read, the title of the column DOES
say Ask the SLAYERS. You AREN'T a Dragon Slayer."

Maze: "Aren't we all at heart? C'mon!!!"

Van: (growling) "Speak for yourself."

Miguel: "Wait your turn. You can do it next time."

Maze: (pouts) "Have it your way."

Miguel: "Alright, the letter says . . . 'Why are you guys writing an
advice column when you could be out killing Van?'"

Van: (crosses his arms) "How violent. Thanks a lot. I've JUST gotten
rid of that problem."

Tasuki: "HA!!! Looks like someone out there doesn't like you!!!"
(points at Van and laughs hysterically) "Can't say I blame them!!!"

Van: "What have I ever done to you?"

Tamahome: "What did I ever do to him? He does the same thing to me!"

Tasuki: "You guys practically ASK for it!"

Gatti: "Well, there's a perfectly good explanation as to why we don't
hunt Van down every chance we get."

Guimel: "Hitomi-sama forbid us."

Dallet: "Believe us, we'd absolutely love to use Van for target
practice."

Viole: "Or tie him up and let the Zaibach conduct cruel experiments on
him."

Miguel: "Not to mention how fun it'd be to hang him up as the country's
special flag at the capital."

Shesta: "Or use as our personal training dummy when we train with our
swords."

Gatti: "But we aren't allowed."

Van: (laughing and sticking his tongue out at the Slayers) "Nah nah!!!"

Tasuki: "Looks t'me like he's askin' for it." (crossing his arms and
smiling slyly at the leather clad Zaibach)

Chichiri: (tapping Van on the shoulder) "I don't think it's wise to
stick your tongue out at them na no da. They look angry no da."

Van: (teasingly) "Well, there's nothing they can do about it. Hitomi'd
have a fit if they disobeyed her order." (suddenly hyper and dancing
circles around the fuming Slayers)

Tokiya: (calmly) "Sometimes we must defy orders for the greater good.
It's our responsibility to put morons in their places."

Van: "What'd you call me?"

Tokiya: "You're acting like a moron." (neither smiles nor frowns)
"You're giving us all a bad name. Snap out of it."

Van: (feeling rather defiant now) "Make me."

Tasuki: "He asked fer it." (takes out his Halisen and kisses it)
"You're gonna dancin' with fire now."

Chichiri: "Let's not be violent, no da."

Tamahome: (looking at the Slayers) "Shall we?"

Viole: "WOO HOO!!!" (cracking his knuckles and picking up his mallet)

Gatti: "I suppose this one defiance will be acceptable."

Miguel: "And WELL worth it too."

Van: (backing away from the angry weapon wielding bishonen) "Guys . . .
I was only joking . . . I didn't mean to upset you . . . I was playing
around . . . it was a joke . . . it wasn't very funny . . . was
it . . . I didn't think so . . . I'm going to run now . . ." (bolts
away shrieking like a girl)

Gatti: "Come back here!"

Viole: "I'm gonna clobber you!"

Maze: "MAHA FIGA!!!"

Diamond: "Lemme get close enough to hypnotize him!"

Tokiya: "No mercy!"

Tasuki: "LEKKA SHIEN!!! MOERO!"

Chichiri: "Stop na no da!"

::All of the bishonen run away chasing Van around the house screaming.
The screams die down and now exclamations of "Where are you?" and "You
can't hide forever!" can be heard::

Gatti: (looking back inside the room to see if Van's hiding under the
computer desk) "Shimatta, lost him. That's all for this time. Thanks
for writing in! Hope to hear from you all soon! Until next time!"
(turns around and hides a large rope behind his back) "C'mon out you
string bean! I'm not the one with the rope y'know . . ."


(c) 2000 Hitomi-sama