Dies Irae, piano

Well, here I am. I had a breakdown a few days ago. It was horrible and scared me. I cried and hid under my desk and all sorts of awful things. I didn't get any sharp pointy objects . . . but I thought about it. But I'm better now. I don't feel so hopeless but I'm really exhausted. The breakdown took every ounce of strength I have. And now I sleep every moment I'm not doing anything. I hope I feel better soon . . . I want to get better.

{ The Phantom is: Exhausted }

{ Hitomi-sama sang an opera the morning of 09.03.02 }

Ballad, forte

Thank goodness I'm starting to feel better now. Sorry for such a long absence from any real blogs. I've been feeling so down it scared me. And I wanted to prevent ending up trying to use any knives on myself. But I'm going to see my therapist again today (though I'm sure I never mentioned her before here) so I'll be able to get help.

I got a new computer but unfortunately it's not hooked up to the internet (yet). It's got Window XP and all sorts of cool stuff. Except, my media player won't play my anime. ;_;. I'll fix that soon.

Lemme see . . . what else? Erm . . . started writing again seriously. But it's an original story so, you won't see it here. I'll try to get it published someday . . . but not for a while. I only have the first chapter or so. Who knows, maybe someday you'll be able to buy my book in a bookstore. ^^!

I went out on a date last night. It was fun. ^^! Especially when I was being blackmailed into eating food. >_<! But I had a great time. ^^. So yeah.

{ The Phantom is: Doing better }
{ Hitomi-sama sang an opera the morning of 08.27.02 }

Sonata, dolce


{ The Phantom is: Jazzed }
{ Hitomi-sama sang an opera the evening of 08.13.02 }

Scherzo, forte

Boy have I been gone from the blogs for a while. Gomen about that. Lots of things have happened. Survived a breakdown . . . which was really scary and caused me to end up sobbing on the floor of my kitchen with a knife . . . Gone on vacation for a while . . . Role played some . . . Had some really great times with people like Ruu . . . It's been an interesting time.

Tonight I finally get to go see the Phantom of the Opera. I'm really excited, I've waited forever to see it again. And I love getting all dressed up and stuff. ^.^

Yesterday (sans one part of it) was the day from HELL!!! I wanted to hang out with people but they had to do the catering job. So I said, I'll help too! Why not? I forgot how much I really hate doing that job. So we were there for five hours setting up, serving, and doing the freakin' dishes (which took like two hours)! We got paid a little but we actually should've made more than we did. Oh well, that part isn't important all that much . . . so we head home and we stop at In 'n Out to get some food since it's freakin' late and some of us have had virtually nothing to eat. We're in the drive thru and all of a sudden Ruu's check oil light comes on. We think, okay, he can check it tomorrow. Five seconds later we hear a popping sound and smoke starts pouring from under the hood. The radiator burst! So we had to push the car out of the drive thru. We filled the tanks with oil and antifreeze, thinking that would at least get us home. About a mile from home every freakin' light on the panel lit up. So here we were: Ruu, Nova, and Hitomi pushing a car at eleven o'clock at night. Up and down hills. My goodness, I hurt so bad right now. x_x!

{ The Phantom is: Aching }
{ Hitomi-sama sang an opera the morning of 08.13.02 }

Requiem, forte

"Never win first place, I don't support the team 
I can't take direction, and my socks are never clean 
Teachers dated me, my parents hated me 
I was always in a fight cuz I can't do nothin' right 
Everyday I fight a war against the mirror 
I can't take the person starin' back at me
I'm a hazard to myself 
Don't let me get me
I'm my own worst enemy
Its bad when you annoy yourself 
So irritating
Don't wanna be my friend no more
I wanna be somebody else 
I wanna be somebody else, yeah
LA told me, "You'll be a pop star, 
All you have to change is everything you are." 
Tired of being compared to damn Britney Spears 
She's so pretty, that just ain't me
Doctor, doctor won't you please prescribe somethin
A day in the life of someone else?
Cuz I'm a hazard to myself 
Don't let me get me
I'm my own worst enemy
Its bad when you annoy yourself 
So irritating
Don't wanna be my friend no more
I wanna be somebody else
Don't let me get me
I'm my own worst enemy Its bad when you annoy yourself 
So irritating
Don't wanna be my friend no more
I wanna be somebody else 
Doctor, doctor won't you please prescribe somethin' 
A day in the life of someone else?
Don't let me get me
Don't let me get me 
I'm my own worst enemy
Its bad when you annoy yourself
So irritating 
Don't wanna be my friend no more
I wanna be somebody else."

{ The Phantom is: Empty }
{ Hitomi-sama sang an opera the afternoon of 07.23.02 }

Kyrie, fortissimo

Wow, I just got back from the most amazing place! Dee invited me to get together with a bunch of people. We ended up hiking up this really big hill and up to a water tower in a nearby city. While there we watched the sunset and the stars come out. Then we got to see all the twinkling lights of the city below for as far as the eye could see. We sang and laughed and really appreciated the view. It was amazing.

Then a helicopter came and since we were technically sitting on the helipad, we had to rush out of there 'cause we really weren't supposed to be there. But it was fun. The hike down was scary 'cause it was ten at night and there were no lights around. Totally scary. @_@!!! But I made it down without falling. Yay!

I'd love to go back there some time. I'd love to show some people the awesome view from up there. It really makes you appreciate things. I just have to say . . . I'm so out of shape! The hike was a killer! But it was worth it. I didn't realize how cold it was up there though. Brr!!!

Work was okay today. The kids were really bad but now that I'm actually feeling better, it didn't really bother me. So even though the day didn't go that well at work, I wasn't bummed in the least about it. I'm so glad I'm feeling better. If I'd had the day I had at work months ago, I'd be crying and hating life/myself right now. But I don't. I feel wonderful. Tired, but wonderful.

Tomorrow I have to get up early and do laundry. ;_;. I don't like doing it but I suppose it's better than doing the dishes, ne? Gotta do laundry . . . clean the house . . . find my RP sheets that are hiding in my room. It's hard to get going so early in the morning! I have to get up at like 7 so that I can do laundry and call Ruu and hopefully set everything up for the RP . . . ::sigh:: So tired . . . can't think straight. Oyasuminasai!

Oh, and by the way . . . STOP SENDING ME SPAM!!! Thank you.

{ The Phantom is: Headache-y}
{ Hitomi-sama sang an opera the evening of 07.10.02 }

Scherzo, forte

I just thought today was going to be a regular boring day. Yesterday my plans all got cancelled so I was a bit sad. All I had to do was go to the doctor's for another check up.

This morning I woke up and was just being really lazy. Decided to call Ruu who told me he'd been trying to call. He invited me over to go swimming. Wai! I haven't swam in such a long time! So I hurried and cleaned the house and changed into my swimsuit once I found it.

I had such a fun time! Only, I got water in my eyes and it made my contacts all dry. ;_;. But that's okay 'cause the chlorine water made my blisters a little better. LOL @ me saving the (pretend) drowning Ruu. x_x! Now I'm so tired. I forgot how tired I get after swimming.

At about 4:30 I rushed home in time to go to the doctor's. I wanted to stay longer but my appointment was at 5:15. I got there and found out that I'm fine! Yay! All my blood work came back perfect! Even my blood pressure was perfect this time. And I lost like ten pounds! Yatta!!!

Tomorrow I have to work. ::sigh:: That's okay. 'cause Thursday should consist of role playing madness!!! Bwahahahahaha!!! Anyhow, I'm off for now. Ja ne minna-sama!!!

{ The Phantom is: Tired}
{ Hitomi-sama sang an opera the evening of 07.09.02 }

Bolero, forte

I wasn't even going to go to AX 2002 and look what happened . . . ::holds up her fist and shakes it at the puppy dog look Ruu gave her:: Well, I went and had a decent time. I even got something really cool from my favorite manga artist, Watsuki-sensei, the creator of Kenshin. Read more about it here.

Other than that I'm just sitting here trying to figure out which story I want to write today . . . 'cause I have so many and they're going so badly they all need revisions and stuff added to them. ;_;! Writing's so hard sometimes.

Well, I'm off to do . . . whatever it is I'm going to do today. Which will probably consist of me cleaning the house and picking up all the scraps from my costume making frenzy. And then, who knows? It's early and I've got the whole day ahead of me.

{ The Phantom is: Blistered}
{ Hitomi-sama sang an opera the morning of 07.08.02 }

Lacrimosa, forte

Today went better. Got my copy of The Remnant. It's really good so far. So, yay! Took forever to find it though. Thanks to those who aided in my search! Couldn't have done it without you guys!

LOL @ today in the Wal*Mart parking lot. I was on a "Left Behind" high or something. People were making scary faces so I ran through the lot yelling, "The demon locusts are after me! Quick, to the Range Rover!" And when we were all hurrying, I was pointing and yelling for Buck not to leave me behind this time. I say this time because of this conversation I had earlier.

Anyhow, I'm off. I'm working like mad!!! Crazy! See y'all.

{ The Phantom is: Tired but okay}
{ Hitomi-sama sang an opera the evening of 07.02.02 }

Dies Irae, sforzando

Remnant comes out tomorrow. Can't think of a better time for it to come out. I really need something to read . . . and totally absorb and distract me at the moment. So yay. Going to go get it tomorrow hopefully.

I'm tired, my body hurts, and I'm just worn out in every way possible. I have a good mind to just keep to myself for the next few weeks . . . I don't know . . . I'm not really in a good frame of mind to be making decisions really. So I'll delay that until tomorrow.

I don't know what else to say tonight except:

"God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
the courage to change the things I can,
and the wisdom to know the difference. Amen."

{ The Phantom is: Crushed}
{ Hitomi-sama sang an opera the evening of 07.01.02 }

Concerto, mezzo forte

I'm getting used to my medicine and I must say, I'm feeling great. I feel calm and peaceful and alive now. I don't get depressed over the littlest things anymore. There are days when I feel down but not the same as I used to be. I'm so much happier now. ::laughs:: I feel like I'm being the posterchild for Zoloft or something. ^.^;.

Yesterday I had a really fun time. I haven't role played in real life in a long time. And it was cool to play a slightly evil assassin. Only, my Romanian accent was mistaken for Russian. ;_;. So I spent the entire game being known as the "Russian that wants to kill you if you don't shut up." I also managed to kill a big evil thing by stabbing it through the ear. I would've shot it through the ear, but they wouldn't give my character a gun. ;_;.

We also ended up playing V:TM which makes tons more sense and is way funner in real life. (I still don't like the V:TM chats though!). My character was blood bonded to another, which was good because I didn't know what to do. So he had to tell me everything. "Why don't you conjure a stake in it's heart, dear?" ::laughs:: It was so funny. And I ended up going into a frenzy 'cause I forgot to keep track of how many blood points I wasted conjuring stakes. ;_;. But it was all good 'cause I guess I killed our "target" and got a whole bunch of disciplines along with it. And the character I was blood bonded to ended up bailing me out of trouble for it too. But now he's a prince. Yay!

How 'bout them white cars? ::laughs:: Oh, nevermind. Anyhow, I've got to go clean the house. I really hate doing that. I wish houses cleaned themselves. Well, see you later! Ja matta!

{ The Phantom is: Happy}
{ Hitomi-sama sang an opera the afternoon of 06.27.02 }

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NAME: Hitomi-sama
TITLES: Hime of Insanity, Angel of Music, Princess, Manager of Envision, etc.
AGE: ^^;;; Undisclosed
DISPOSITION: Insane with tendencies for being a musical genius
EMAIL: Hitomi_sama@hotmail.com
FULL PROFILE: ~Hitomi-sama~

  THE LYRICS AS OF 09.03.02:

SONG: Music of the Night
FOOD: Japanese food (I like sushi and tempura a lot!)
DRINK: Boba Milk Tea
MANGA: Chobits
ANIME: Tenkuu no Escaflowne
GAME: Final Fantasy X
DRAMA: "Majou no Jouken"
THING TO DO: Relax, write stories, play piano, sing
PLACE: Paris Opera House
HOBBY: Writing stories, singing
BOOK: "Apollyon" by Tim LaHaye and Jerry B. Jenkins


INSANITY: 1/10 - I'm tired.
LAG: 10/10 - Don't wanna move.
STRESS: 7/10 - Need to go to the therapist.
RANDOM ITEM: Chobits volume 2 in English.
DRAMA: "Long Love Letter." Why isn't it subbed? ;_;!
COLOR: Blue.
RANDOM THOUGHT: "Wanna kiss my dolly?!?" Hee hee hee.
BOOK: "The Remnant" by Tim LaHaye and Jerry B. Jenkins


 * "Phantom" by Susan Kay
 * "Left Behind" #1, 2, and 5-9
 * Candles, votives, etc
 * Classical music stuffs
 * Phantom of the Opera stuffs



* Meetings soon?


* Hellsing - Victoria

* Phantom - Christine Daae (blue dress version)


* Learn Handel's Sarabande on the piano

* Learn "Fantasia in D minor" by Mozart on the piano

* Continue voice lessons and get my voice into shape


* Mlle. Ass-Kickin' Jupi
* M. Big O
* Mlle. Branflake
* Mlle. Dilly Pickle ~ link ~
* Mlle. Eternal Phoenix
* M. Gosu Gewkie
* Mlle. Jenyu-chan ~ link ~
* Mlle. Hip
* M. Otaku in Training
* M. Ruu Heijin
* Mlle. Shorty ~ link ~ email ~


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